The Life of the Party - lyrics
It’s Christmas eve I hang my sock above the fire place
I’m feeling rather cheery, got to get out, go someplace,
There’s time before its dark and I could use me’self a port,
So I lock the door and walks right down the lane to get a snort.

I swear I had no whiskey, nor any drink all day
So when I got down to the pub I sought one right a way,
I pushed up to the bar and caught the barkeeps eye
But ‘fore I opened up my mouth an odd thing I did spy.

Big fat man, Big fat man Beard as white as snow,
In both hands are whiskey shots His nose shines all a glow
Big fat man, big fat ma nbuying rounds galore
There’s toddy on his breath, and he keeps drinking more.

“It’s Christmas eve, let’s celebrate and share this Buttered Rum,
Perhaps a Brandy Eggnog, chased down by julep plums
A Gingerbread Creamsycle on me, a taste you will adore
Then Spiked Pear Cider, toasty hot, will keep you wanting more. “

Big fat man, Big fat man, Suit all red and shiny,
He’s tossing back a Mulled Red Wine – He’s got a reindeer posse.
Big fat man, big fat man chugging all that’s poured
There goes another Irish Coffee but - who’s keeping score

He passes me a Cranberry Mule, and once I chug it down
He orders up four Drunk Jack Frosties to brush away me frown,
That Santa Clausmopolitan – Downed in one gulp my friend
His eyes twinkled, mine were blurred - three Santa's to the wind.

Big fat man, Big fat man, Laughing “Ho-Ho-Ho”
Tom & Jerry’s can’t survive, He downs them like a pro.
Big fat man, big fat man, Spends life in the fast lane
Swigging down Coconut Blitz and a Vodka Candy Cane.

While handing me a Scroogedriver, his naughty elf appears,
“That’s all-it’s time we hit the road, cause midnight’s almost here.”
Big fat man frowned and said, “You look like I could use a drink.”
And guzzled down his Kiss-Me Santa Spritz without a wink.

Big fat man, Big fat man, Never slows his pace
If downing booze was a sport he’d never lose the race.
Big fat man, big fat man - That Pomegranate Paloma
Chased by fourteen Dirty Snowmen should put him in a coma.

The naughty elf persisted, “I think you’ve had your fill,
And it will take at least five months for us to pay your bill.”
The reindeer and the elf they pushed the fat man to the door
And out into the night they crashed but he never stopped his pour.

Naughty elf, naughty elf, Knows it’s time to go
Big Fat Man, Big Fat Man has put on quite a show,
Big Fat man, big fat man, All the reindeer fled
I don’t know which one Rudolph was ‘cause, every nose was red.

So there I sat, the bar a mess, the barkeep looking woozy,
“Did I just drink the eve away with Mr Santa Boozy?”
“I don’t know who he is, where he’s from or when he leaves,
But every year you’ll find him here - so come next Christmas eve.”

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Tthe life of the party
Tossing ‘em long into the night has made him rather tardy,
Big fat man, big fat man, Travel with a vengeance
Me girl will blame it on me boozing if she don’t get presents.